Worth Playing For?

I'm fascinated by the show Survivor. It's a bizarre mix of Machiavellian tactics and the Darwin Awards. The physical challenges test strength, stamina, teamwork & mental acuity. It's an intriguing melange for any student of human nature. Right before each challenge, the host will announce the reward for that challenge and then he'll say, "Worth playing for?" Just once, I would love to see a survivor say, "Nope. Sorry, Jeff. That just isn't tempting enough for me. I think I'll sit this one out." Hasn't happened yet (that I know of) but I'm still watching for that moment.

For the last month, I've been pretty vague about the contents of the "Gigolo Kit" that will be award to the winner of the month-long contest here on the blog. Today I'm gonna tell you what you're playing for.

Ladies and gentlemen, the Gigolo Kit, which admittedly bears a much stronger resemblance to a Gigolo Basket than it does to a Gigolo Kit. I was gonna have it look all medicinal like a First Aid Kit, but then I saw this ribbon and it made me laugh so hard I had to wrap the kit up in it. It's pink ribbon with pink sparkles on it and written on it very faintly in pink script are the words It's a Boy! I just thought that was too funny to pass up.

Contents:

• Pink aromatherapy "Romance" candle
• "Sensual Exotic" incense sticks (Orchid, Patchouli & Nag Champa)
• Be Mine rose-scented soap petals
• A soft stretchy pink & purple scarf (ideal for tying to bedposts)
• Pink "Love" rhinestone-studded leather collar
• Sweet Seduction "Freesia Romance" Body Butter
• All About Me "Cranberry Tart" Body Lotion
• All About Me "Lavender Moonlight" Body Lotion
• "Love" Strawberry-scented Shimmer Splash
• Epic Romance warming massage oil
• Purple & white feather duster (cuz I had to put something ticklish in)
• Flavored lubricated condoms (vanilla, banana, strawberry)
• A variety of sample size lubricants (warming, sensual, strawberry-kiwi, peach)
• Sexology "Tongue Dinger" (tongue vibrating ring)

So the Gigolo Question, now that you've seen what my (imaginary) gigolo brings when he comes a'calling, what is the one of life's little luxuries that would always be worth playing for in your book?

On the Prowl by Kaye Chambers

Now available in a bookstore near you! On the Prowl, an anthology featuring two urban-fantasy shape-shifter novellas by exciting new authors Kaye Chambers and Taryn Blackthorne.

Who would you trust with your life…and your heart?

Tiger by the Tail by Kaye Chambers

Sasha DeStephano’s spent her childhood insulated from the dangers of growing up with the “tiger mafia”. Now that she’s been summoned to appear before the elders, she’s urged on every side to give up her birthright for a new regime.

But not Colton Reyes, a rogue alpha. Cole thinks the tiger society is headed down a one-way street to disaster. And she is their only hope. In this game of danger and intrigue, Cole’s best chance to protect her…is to pretend to claim her as his mate.

Except pretending is the last thing on Sasha’s mind.

Even for Me by Taryn Blackthorne

Once, Aislyn had a life, a family and a home—until a witch cast a spell that shattered everything. Now Aislyn is holed up in Denver and fighting the Changes that ravage her body and threaten her hold on humanity.

All Jackson Havens needs is quick proof that Aislyn is the Ghost Cat Killer, and his wallet will be fat again. One pair of handcuffs and a double-crossing employer later, Jackson finds himself bound to the sexy Aislyn—and racing to catch the real killer before someone puts Aislyn down. For good.

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Being a rabid reader as well as a writer, going to writing conferences is a lot like going to the Oscars (just without the couture and gazillion dollar jewelry). I try not to have too many "Oh my god, you're the Linda Howard!" moments, but sometimes my inner groupie shines through and for weeks afterward I will find reasons to name drop like the unsophisticated dweeb that I am. "When I spoke to Roxanne St. Claire at Moonlight and Magnolias, she said..." "It's interesting you should mention that because when I met Julia Quinn at the Emerald City Conference..."

Luckily, the name-dropping is only a temporary affliction. But this week, I had the most fun name-dropping I've had to date. A friend of mine, someone I knew before she had her name on the cover of a book, released her very first book in bookstores. I got to go to my local B&N, pull that puppy off the shelf (an endcap, no less!) carry it up to the cash register and brag my lil heart out to the clerk that "I know Kaye Chambers." It was awesome. The clerk thought that was pretty damn cool, but I predict on a day not too far from now the response will be, "Oh my god, not the Kaye Chambers." And then I'll get to brag that I knew her before she'd published a single word.

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Today's Gigolo Question: Which author would you most like to meet in person?

Un Petit Pet Peeve

I just finished reading Dark Desires After Dusk by Krelsey Cole. Good book, ridiculous cover. Honestly, the cover was laughably bad. Not that it was ugly. Nooooo. That is one studly piece of manflesh and the colors are pretty and the font is easy to read...

The problem is this: the model on the cover is the wrong species to be the hero. Seriously. The hero is a demon. He has horns. Big-ass horns. Kind of a major plot point here, boys and girls. It's bad enough that he's supposed to be blond rather than the swarthy, dark-haired stud on the cover. Now we can't even get the basic physiological features of his species right, like horns for cripes sake.

The previous book in the same series was almost as bad. Studly open-shirted man revealing all his rippling adbominal glory. The rippling abdominal glory that is supposed to be covered in an enormous scar from where he was gutted and died. Thus to be brought back to life again as a vampire. No gutting. No vamping. So where is my fricking scar?!? (He's also supposed to have bright red eyes, but who am I to quibble over Stud Muffin's browned-eyed beauty?)

Am I wrong that the dude on the cover is supposed to be the hero? Is that an unreasonable assumption? So why can't he look like the fricking hero?

If the character has a distinguishing characteristic (scars, tattoos, horns) then I am of the opinion that either that portion of the character should not be shown on the cover (you can still show his studly manflesh, just cut him off at the neck) OR the cover should actually get those major distinguishing characteristics right.

Maybe I'm too literal-minded. I'm not a cover artist, nor am I a marketing guru, so maybe I just have no comprehension of what makes a good cover. But seriously, y'all, horns. WTF.

What are your book cover likes/dislikes/pet peeves?

For info on the Gigolo Contest in progress, click here.

Kindle 2: Rise of the Machines

I was in Walmart the other day and I asked the guy in the electronics section if they were going to carry the new Kindle. Blank stare. He had no flippin' idea what I was talking about. In the electronics section!

Ebooks are becoming more and more popular, but how are they going to catch on if none of the companies producing the ereaders ever advertise? Have you ever seen a commercial for an ereader? A billboard? A print ad? I haven't.

Then yesterday, this: http://www.thedailyshow.com/video/index.jhtml?videoId=218392&title=Jeff-Bezos

Now, I personally find the CEO of Amazon, Jeff Bezos, to be kind of a creepy dude. It's the way he laughs. Not that I have anything against people who throw their whole bodies into laughter and rock back and forth with mirth at the drop of a hat. His laughter just seems so forced. Like he's really an archvillain prentending to be a jolly old elf. (Admittedly, my attitude toward him might be impacted by the fact that I tend to think of Amazon as an evil empire populated by soulless minions. Bless their greedy little hearts.)

Oh my god! I just realized who he reminds me of! Data! From Star Trek! You know how when Data is trying out emotions it's always forced and weird? Hello, Jeff Bezos! It's like someone told him not to be too serious on The Daily Show (lack of humor will alienate the kiddies, you know), so Jeff went out and downloaded laughter, but he didn't really know how to use it so it got a little out of control. He laughed long and hard, with very little provocation, but he certainly can't be accused of being humorless.

So aside from the creepy over-laughing, I'm super psyched to see someone spreading the word about ebooks. Awesome. It's about time.

Today's Gigolo Question: How did you first learn about ebook readers? What prompted you to buy your first or what would it take to get you to buy your first?

Witches Anonymous by Misty Evans

Now available! Witches Anonymous by Misty Evans is here! And is that or is that not one sexy mama of a cover?

Can a bad witch go good in thirteen steps? Not if Lucifer has his way with her!

Amy Atwood is a witch. Not the harm-none kind…the Satan-worshipping, devil-made-me-do-it kind. But after catching Lucifer in a particularly wicked hex act with her goodie-two-shoes Wiccan sister, Amy does what every self-respecting witch would do. She pops a Dove chocolate in her mouth, ends her affair with the devil, and swears an oath never to use magic again.

She wants to be normal. Human. Even if it means no more fun—and she’s looking for a nice, normal guy to complement her new lifestyle. And ice-cream-loving firefighter Adam Foster looks like perfect hero material.

Lucifer, however, isn’t about to be nice about letting her go. Stalked by Satan, manipulated by the angel Gabriel—and surprised by Adam’s true identity—Amy finds herself up to her black hat in trouble of Biblical proportions…

Want a taste? Click here for an excerpt!
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Gigolo Question: If you were a witch, what spell would you most want to cast and on whom? Would you use your powers for good or for evil?
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New Ghost Shrink Buzz!!! Ciar Cullen recommends The Ghost Shrink!

Devilishly Delicious

Tomorrow is the release of the final installment of the Tickle My Fantasy Anthology: Witches Anonymous by Misty Evans! The first three TMF books have been tearing it up, receiving great reviews and selling like hotcakes and now Misty's book is the icing on the triple-chocolate cake. Devil's Food Icing, that is.

Amy Atwood is a witch. Not the harm-none kind…the Satan-worshipping, devil-made-me-do-it kind. But after catching Lucifer in a particularly wicked hex act with her goodie-two-shoes Wiccan sister, Amy does what every self-respecting witch would do. She pops a Dove chocolate in her mouth, ends her affair with the devil, and swears an oath never to use magic again.

Lucifer, however, isn’t about to be nice about letting her go.

I love a little Lucifer humor, whether it's the devil as a lounge lizard in Stephanie Rowe's Date Me Baby One More Time or Elizabeth Hurley sexing it up as the Devil Herself in Bedazzled. So what's your favorite representation of the Unholiest of Unholies? The classic Faust? Maybe a little Southpark irreverence? What form would your tempter take?

Kill Me Now

I love romance novels. They fit nicely into my happily-ever-after worldview. (Huh, I wonder if romance book readers are by nature more optimistic than their more depressing literary counterparts?) I love reading romance and I love writing it.

However, there are some parts about being a romance author that I would happily do without. I'd be a happy camper if I never had to look at another rejection letter. I'd kiss the person who told me I never had to write another query letter or boil my book down into a catchy tagline (I suck at taglines). And, as much as I want people to read and enjoy my work, there are some people I would prefer never read my books. But one of the downsides of publishing is that after my book hits the open market, my ultra-stubborn, hyper-conservative grandmother can buy her own copy and I can't stop her.

That is what happened this week. My grandmother read my book. My oh-so-proper grandma read words like "stripper" and "handjob" and "gigolo." Written by yours truly. Not to mention the words of the four-letter variety. You wanna hear the kicker? She's reading it aloud to my blind grandfather. Just take a moment to picture that, if you will.

I cannot talk to my grandmother about my sex book, so my aunt is acting as an intermediary. She informed me that my gran found the book to be "well-written" and wanted to assure me that they still love me and know that I can still behave like a lady - no matter how my characters may act.

At least my father has agreed to forego the pleasure of my literary genius until I write something more to his taste. (Thank you, Daddy!) I've promised he will be the first to read my manuscript if I ever write a Ken Follett-esque novel. And someday I will. Pillars of the Earth III: Judgement Day. Even if my dad is the only one who ever reads it. In the mean time, he couldn't be prouder, and we both pretend he doesn't know what I write.

Today's Gigolo Question: Is romance your dirty little secret? Is there anyone out there you would rather not know you read (or write) romance?

Geeking Out

**Ooops. So I swear I hit "publish post" but since the post did not, in fact, publish, I'm thinking I probably hit save by accident. So let's try this one more time...**

For the record, I am a huge nerd. I embrace my nerdiness. I get disproportionately excited about the strangest things, my nerdy little obsessions. One of my obsessions, which isn't necessarily a huge geek-factor, is baseball. It is the depth of my passion for the greatest game on dirt that exposes my geekery.

I believe in curses and streaks and the metaphysical, non-linear character of a game that simultaneously revolves around statistics. I know some people think the game is slow or boring, but I love it because it is all about timing. About having that one opportunity, that one moment up at bat. You can seize that one chance to become the next Babe Ruth or strike out so hard you fall on your butt, or you can be so terrified of failing that you never even swing. Baseball is a metaphor for life and I loooooove it. Especially baseball of the Seattle Mariners variety.

So why am I talking about baseball in the middle of February? Cuz spring training has started and Ken Griffey Jr is coming back to Seattle! Wooohoooo! Now, I know this news is not nearly as exciting to the average citizen, but, as I said, I am a huge nerd. So I'm gonna do my Snoopy Dance in Junior's honor and if you feel so inclined, you can dance along.

Today's Gigolo Question: What is your biggest, geekiest, irrational joy? What sends you into fits of nerdy rapture?