Sunday, September 18, 2011

Random Musings from the Road

I'm in travel mode at the moment, gallivanting without much in the way of direction across these United States. As I'm drifting, certain snippets always strike me as ridiculous funny. Today, I share with you my random (and at times somewhat inappropriate and/or mildly offensive) Musings from the Road!
  • I love staying in casino hotels. I don't gamble (and I seriously do not understand the appeal of slot machines) but I flat out love the fact that random strangers wish you luck in the elevator. It makes me feel so warm and fuzzy. I might just start wishing random passersby good luck regardless of where I am, but I'm thinking outside of a casino atmosphere it might seem creepy or mildly threatening. Good luck in context: Yay! Good luck out of context: What do you know? Why do I need luck? What's that supposed to mean? So maybe I won't take it up as my greeting of choice.
  • In lovely West Texas, I saw the following billboard: "'We need to talk.' -God"
    Now, I don't know about you, but my first response was. "WTF? God's breaking up with me?" Because, dude, I have never before seen such classic break-up words used as a come-to-Jesus. He was probably cheating on me with that slutty Vishnu with all her extra arms...
  • Religious billboards in general crack me up. Especially the ones that are like those Burma Shave ones from Ye Olden Tymes where they ask you a perfectly interesting thought provoking question ("Where will you spend eternity?") only to follow it up a few miles down the road with HELL IS REAL or some other deeply cheery PSA. I seriously wonder how many people take up religion from a Burma-Shave ambush billboard. Kinda like I wonder how effective people who stand on street corners banging Bibles and screaming verse at passing cars actually think they are.
  • And in unreligious news... In Arizona, this little gem was on a ginormous billboard: "Indian City. Blankets: $5" Blankets for five bucks, you guys! Small pox included! (Okay, I know, it's a cringey joke. Too soon?)
  • And last, but certainly not least, I found Radiator Springs! (From Cars, for those of you without Pixar-addicted children in your life.) In Holbrook, Arizona, I tripped across the actual Cozy Cone (though they called it the Wigwam Motel), but seriously! There's Mater too! Look! (I was waaaay too excited by this discovery. Feel free to mock me for my giddyness.)

And that's all for now folks. Now you all know what it's like to go on a road trip with me - only without the vaguely tuneful belting along with the radio.


Vivant said...

I am not on a road trip at present, but my favorite in-car experience lately is seeing a utilitarian looking black SUV with a back window decoration that made me laugh. Hard. Across the top of the window it said "Zombie Outbreak Response Vehicle." At one side of the bottom of the window was a graphic of a zombie walking with arms outstretched toward a woman and children on the opposite side.

Sadly, there was no graphic of someone ready to fight the zombie, so I guess the response they plan in case of a zombie outbreak is FLEEING in their vehicle.

Vivi Andrews said...

You don't fight zombies. You run them over in your large black SUV and listen to the k-thud k-thud sound they make under your tires. Duh. ;)