The Secret is Out! I'm Vivian Arend

For years I've been saying that Vivian Arend and I aren't really the same person. Lies. All of it lies.

Yes, boys and girls, I'm finally coming out of the closet. I am badass USA Today and NYT Bestselling Author Vivian Arend. It's true.

Now, those of you who know my complete body of work (see list below) may be wondering how I can possibly produce all the insanely awesome books I do. (Writing, editing, and releasing a new book an average of every four weeks.) The truth is I wouldn't be able to do it without my cybernetic hands (think Darth Vader, only less evil, more romantic). These babies never get tired and they type approximately two thousand words a minute. (Unfortunately, this also exhausts keyboards at an alarming rate so I always have to have three spares on hand for a night of writing.)

The truth is, it's a sickness. I discovered early in my career that if I go more than three months between releases, I become physically ill. The only way to keep myself from the violent and unpleasant malady is to type like the wind. It's a defense mechanism, really. And if I hadn't invented a second pen name, there's no way my publisher would have let me stack so many releases back to back. They understood that sweet release is the only medicine that works.

So now, for the first time ever, I reveal The Complete Viv.A. Booklist:

The Ghost Shrink, the Accidental Gigolo & the Poltergeist Accountant - February 17, 2009
Wolf Signs - March 24, 2009
Serengeti Heat - June 23, 2009
Tidal Wave - July 21, 2009
Wolf Flight - October 27, 2009
The Ghost Exterminator - October 27, 2009
Serengeti Storm - January 12, 2010
Claiming Derryn - February 19, 2010
Wolf Games - March 23, 2010
The Sexorcist - April 27, 2010
Stormchild - May 4, 2010
Turn It On - July 19, 2010
Whirlpool - August 10, 2010
Serengeti Lightning - September 14, 2010
Wolf Tracks - October 26, 2010
The Naked Detective - November 14, 2010
Falling, Freestyle - November 30, 2010
Tangled Tinsel - December 6, 2010
No Angel - December 6, 2010
Turn It Up - February 8,2011
Stormy Seduction - April 12, 2011
Serengeti Sunrise - May 10, 2011
Silent Storm - May 17, 2011
Rising, Freestyle - July 4, 2011
A Cop & A Feel - July 12, 2011
Paradise Found - August 23, 2011
Black Gold - September 13, 2011
Rocky Mountain Heat - November 15, 2011
Reawakening Eden - November 22, 2011
Rocky Mountain Haven - January 10, 2012
Ghosts of Boyfriends Past - January 17, 2012
Rocky Mountain Desire - March 13, 2012
Superlovin' - May 1, 2012
Spinning Gold - June 1, 2012
Wolf Line - June 12, 2012
Super Bad - July 1, 2012
Silver Mine - September 11, 2012

And now, if you'll excuse me, I have a trio of keyboards that I must type into oblivion.

Happy April, y'all. ;)

Lucky Sevens

The delightful Ms. Diana Layne (who's mafia suspense book The Good Daughter recently received a Top Pick from RT! Congrats, Diana!) tagged me this weekend in a little book meme - The Lucky Sevens! The mission? To post 7 lines, starting at the 7th line on the 7th or 77th page of your upcoming book. (Check out Diana's HERE.)

Now, 8 is my favorite number, but I decided to be a good little rule follower and go with Lucky Number 8-1. And because I'm an overachiever, I've decided to post BOTH 7 and 77 excerpts from my upcoming, May 1st release Superlovin'. (Available for Kindle & Nook pre-order now!)

For page 7, we join our hero (who happens to be a supervillain, but we don't judge) mid-heist as he is searching...

The Crypt.
Where the not-so-pristine truth about heroes is buried.
Conspiracy theorists loved to speculate on the contents of these super-secret files. But tonight he didn’t care about the truth. Just Mirabelle.
Lucien scanned the room. The filing cabinets had been his best bet, but he’d come up empty there. He walked past the computers, ignoring them. The schematics for Area Nine would be low-tech. Hard copies.

And seventy pages later, we find our intrepid heroine mid-argument with Mr. Supersexy himself.

“And is being a villain any different for you?” She flung the words at him. “Do you ever do something just because it’s right without first thinking of your own self-interest?” It was unfair. She knew he thought of Mirabelle first. Everything she’d seen him do, he’d done for his family, but nothing in the way she was feeling right now was rational or logical—and from the wild look in his eyes, he was right there with her.
“Everyone thinks of their own self-interest,” he barked. “You’re thinking of your own self-interest every time you fly off to save the day. Thinking of how it will enhance your precious DynaGirl image.”

So... yeah... they don't exactly see eye-to-eye on the whole saving-the-day thing.

Now, I believe I'm supposed to pass the meme on to 7 people, but this is where my rule following breaks down. Ever since chain letters threatened terrible things to people who failed to send it on to a certain number of people in a certain amount of time, I've been reluctant to ping other people with memes. So instead, I invite you, intrepid reader, to post seven lines of page seven or seventy of either 1) The book you're reading right this instant (with details so others can check it out too!) or 2) a Work-in-Progress from your own manuscript files.

Happy Seven-ing! (And thanks to Diana for the game.)

The Great Lithgow on Epically Purple Prose

How much do I love John Lithgow and any excuse to use the word minions. Dude.

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So You Wanna Be a Writer...

I saw this yesterday and it just cracked me up. Observe, the Future Best-seller!

The Power of the Voiceover

So there was a blog the other day on book trailers, that got me thinking about the power of tone. About how a tiny little shift in music and voiceover can completely change your impression of something. And then I got sucked into YouTube. So now, for your viewing pleasure... I give you... the POWER of the VOICEOVER! (And a random mash-up just for fun...)

The The Impotence of Proofreading

I just completed a round of line edits so this seemed topical. Enjoy!

Delay of Game (and win an ARC!)

Today was supposed to be the day of the Michael Minor interview, but he's running late. Okay, if I'm honest, I'm up to my ears in edits right now. So I give you instead a couple links to a couple DEEPLY awesome things that made me giggle and chortle until I fell off my chair. Ready?

1. The Brilliant Minds behind the Nine Naughty Novelists have launched a serial novel on their blog (and they're giving away a nook, too!). The Zillionaire Vampire Cowboy's Secret Werewolf Babies premiered yesterday to rave reviews. Check it out! (And don't forget to enter to win that nook!)
2. In the classic tradition of Old Skool romance, Smart Bitches guest reviewer "redheadedgirl" posted the funniest spoilerific review I've read in an age. Surrender to the Night, darlings. And surrender to the laughter. Here's the link. (I feel I should confess as I was linking this I actually shouted "Link me up, Scottie!" at my computer. Yep, I'm a nerd.)

**I almost forgot to mention! I'm giving away a Serengeti Lightning ARC today on Twitter. Just use the hashtag #serengetiARC by 10pm EST to be entered to win! Good luck!**

And if the title wasn't enough to get you over to the Naughty Nine, check out their rockin' book trailer!

Ask a Hero

So, the other day I mentioned to a very good friend of mine that I was taking requests, here at Das Blog, for promo preferences for the upcoming release of Serengeti Lightning. What follows is my (liberal) paraphrase of the conversation with my friend, The Enabler.

Enabler: So you were too lazy to come up with your own promo plan, eh?

Me: Yeah, pretty much.

Enabler: Anyone suggest anything yet?

Me: Excerpts, character interviews, that kind of thing.

Enabler: Character interviews?

Me: I interview the hero or heroine of Serengeti Lightning on my blog.

Enabler: Isn't that kind of like talking to yourself in public?

Me: Yeah, pretty much.

Enabler: They have straightjackets for that kind of behavior.

Me: No, it's totally normal. Lots of authors do it.

Enabler: Talk to themselves.

Me: Mm-hmm.

Enabler: You are so weird.

Me: Yeah, pretty much.

So, in the interest of preserving my (tenuous) image in sanity for my friend, I'm asking you, beloved reader, to interview Michael Minor, sexy hunk of liony goodness and star of Serengeti Lightning. Have a question for the stud of the hour? Post it in the comments section and tomorrow everyone's favorite lion will bare all.

(Ab-tastic picture included because I have that exercise ball! Hunk Not Included.)

Meet Cute

Have you ever thought of how the hero & heroine meet in your favorite romance novels? Have they known each other for years? Did she accidentally take his double shot mochaccino and he got her skinny carmel machiato at Starbucks? A chance encounter... paths crossing in the course of an investigation... coworkers... Whatever the meet, there's probably a romance novel for that.

And in this modern age, it seems like more and more real life happily-ever-afters are starting on the internet... so why aren't more romance meets taking place on the interwebz? Is it because the online meet up inherently lacks the romantic potential of love at first sight? Does the online connection still carry the stigma of desperation?

What do you think? What's your favorite kind of meet? And how did you meet your significant other? Would it make a good story?

Romance Writers Gone Wild!

This week the Swan and Dolphin hotels in Disney World are being overrun by HEA devotees. It's that time, boys and girls, the Romance Writers of America's annual National Conference! Nowhere on earth can you find a larger concentration of romance junkies.

The conference kicks off each year with a signing to raise money for literacy. Rows upon rows of romancey-awesomeness and it's all for a good cause.

Alas, I am not there. I'm home. (I'm also sick. Ugh.) But thanks to SB Sarah and her crew, I get to enjoy a little sampling of the romancey-awesomeness of the literacy signing. Thank you, Smart Bitches!



You can also check out the "Live from Nationals" posts this week at the Ruby blog. Anyone else staying home and feeling pathetic and envious?

The Secret Lives of Regency Ladies

You've heard of Pride & Prejudice & Zombies? Sense & Sensibility & Sea Monsters? Well, it was just a matter of time before we had the Jane Austen Fight Club!

The Joy of Nerdiness

Dude. It's a spoof. Of my soulmate, the Old Spice Man. And it revels in the nerdosity. Does it get better? Does it?



My favorite line: "Did you know that eight out of five dentists say that studying in the library is six bajillion times more effective than studying in your shower?" But I get all my best ideas in the shower!

Miscellany

I'm in the process of clearing out my storage locker, which seems to be sucking up a remarkable amount of my creative energy (will to live, etc...). In times like these, a girl really needs her bullet lists of awesome as she is standing over piles of random possessions and moaning, "How did I end up with so much crap?"

You ready? Let's get to it.

• Transformers 3 is being shot in Chicago right now and I saw Megatron. I know. You're wicked jealous right now. Just try to contain yourself.
• During a fifteen minute span on the El last week, I heard conversations in Russian, French, Japanese, Spanish and English. How many kinds of cool is that?
• Amazon announced they are selling like eleventy-bajillion Kindles and ebooks right now. So let me just take this opportunity to say, "Hey there, new Kindle owners! This is an exciting time for you, exploring the brave new world of ebooks. For all you price conscious folks who waited until the price dropped to $189 to buy, be sure you check out the top 100 free list where you can grab some fabulous books on special discount. And speaking of discounts... **commence shameless promo** did you know that certain books like this one and that one are both only $2.50 on Amazon? I know! Less than the price of a latte and fewer calories too. So cool, right?" **shameless promo complete**
• I've been watching The Bachelorette on Hulu and I want to play poker with that chick. I would make insane amounts of money off her. (Don't mock me for watching The Bachelorette. It's research. Really.) If you are a fan of the show, I love Cape Cod Chris, I think Roberto is going to "win" and Frank was karma biting Ally on the ass. (I'm sorry, wasn't she the one who walked out on the last season amid much drama and tears? Just sayin'.) Even if you don't care for the show, you might appreciate this hilarious blog which recaps each episode with heavy helpings of snark. (I blame my addiction for this awful show on this wonderful blog.)
• And speaking of blog hilarity... a while back, I tripped across a blog entitled Sleep Talkin' Man, and it is exactly that, which I find random and fascinating. Especially as I know for certain that my sister and niece talk in their sleep and I have, on occassion, been informed of my own midnight ramblings. I'm just not married to anyone with a voice activated tape recorder...
• The weatherman just used the phrase "organized rain". I'm not sure whether he means the rain is OCD and needs all its little pencils in a neat little row or if he is implying the rain has mafia connections. Either way, I think I prefer my rain disorganized.

Because Libraries Rock

Libraries are the happiest places on earth. This guy, he gets it. You complete me, Old Spice Man!

Serious Romance

You know those moments in romance novels where everything is soooo perfect and sooo romantic that it almost trips over into the ridiculous? The hero and heroine are so involved in the moment of passion so pure and divine it has never been matched in the history of love affairs... Do you ever kind of wish one of them would fall off the bed? Or they would bump noses during one of the perfectly choreographed kisses? Well, then, boys and girls, this commercial is for you. Enjoy.

Several Small Pieces of Awesome

Today I bring you a bullet list. Because few things make me squeal with glee quite as loudly as writing bullet lists. (This is not a joke. Obsession, thy name is bullet lists. And venn diagrams. And spreadsheets. Yeah. I'm a nerd.)

Ready? Awesomeness, comin' at ya.

• Maureen Johnson (who I will confess I have a really hard time not thinking of as Maureen Scarlett because she writes the Scarlett books - you know, the YA ones about the chick in the Manhattan boutique hotel? Yeah, her.) wrote a MANIFESTO of awesome, saying she is NOT A BRAND. And I'm gonna give a great big wooohooooo! Because there are moments when I think we, as authors, are sucking the life out the internet by being all I must have a brand and BUYMEBUYMEBUYME all the time. (And I know I myself have been guilty of this at times and I hate it when I get all fakey because I feel pressured to sell myself as a commodity. Ugh.) My (very abstract paraphrase of her) New Manifesto: The internet is fun! Enjoy it and stop trying to shout your message in everyone's face and omigod, you might actually make a connection with some of the slices of awesome lurking on the interwebz. (And accidentally sell something in the process.)


• I might move to Beijing. This is still in the earliest of planning stages, but I am so freaking excited about the possibility of this that I had to share. Yay, China! (Maybe.)


• The Sexorcist won Book of the Week! Cuz you guys rock. And for no other reason than cuz you guys rock. So check out the cool badge thing we won, y'all! --> -->


• I am a force that sucks people into Romancelandia! My aunt got back into reading romance when I started, my mom started reading it when I started writing it, and many a friend have I gotten hooked on the HEA, I am happy to report. But now, I'm taking it to a new level. Corrupting writers! I have used my awesome powers of influence to lure one of my oldest friends, The Enabler (best superpower ever), over to the dark-side. She's joining Romance Writers of America and officially becoming one of us! Mwah-ha-ha! I am triumphant! My master plan at work!

That is all. Have you any awesomeness to report?

The Whole Truth

So last week I lied. And y'all tried to spot the lie. And a surprising number of you caught me.

Dude, I was hoping to fool more of you. I tried to make my truths ridiculous and my lies believable, but apparently, I am an epic fail. No poker for me. My bluffing sucks. And now, for the record, The Straight Scoop:

1. I have answered the phone to find Tobey Maguire on the other end of the line and worked on a film for which someone other than myself was nominated for an Academy Award, a Golden Globe, & a Screen Actors Guild Award. TRUE. Patricia Clarkson was nominated for just about every supporting actress award for Pieces of April. Tobey Maguire was the "it" boy of the moment cuz Spiderman had just released & he just happened to be friends with the producer I was working for during my brief and ill-fated sojourn into the film industry. So, I have to ask, would you have been more or less likely to believe me if I'd told you it was Sigourney Weaver? Katie Holmes? Or if I said I'd been backstage at Conan O'Brien talking to someone in a prom dress? Do any of those make a better story?

2. I rode a camel in Morocco, but I have never been south of the equator - the lack of which eats away at my soul. TRUE. Sadly. I'm desperate to get below the equator. Soon... very soon... Australia is calling me.

3. I was valedictorian of my high school, a National Merit scholar and in Mensa - but I can't tell my left from my right. TRUE. Right and left are tricky bastards. They move around on you. My left, your left, stage left, leftfield... any one of those might not actually be to the left at any given moment. They are trying to mess with my brain. North and south are awesome. They don't try to screw with you by moving all around. I don't have any trouble with the compass points. And they like me, so take that made up directional left/right-ness! (If you read my books and I say someone is pointing their right hand, I have no idea which hand is pointing. No joke.)

4. I once had my head stapled shut after gashing it on the ceiling, didn't get home from the emergency room until two in the morning and went to my 7:30am class the next day. (Did you know there is something called the halo effect where head wounds close to the brain seem to hurt several inches above your actual skull? Soooo weird.) TRUE. The guys who took me to the hospital got special permission from the ER folks so they could all be in the room watching when the doctor took a staple gun to my head. It made this great whir-ka-chunk noise. You can't beat the sound of staples in your scalp, baby.

5. I hate earthquakes, thunderstorms, and blizzards, but love the natural power of tornadoes. I blame The Wizard of Oz. Tornadoes=magic. BIG FAT LIE. Oh-my-freaking-god do I ever hate tornadoes. They freak the hell out of me. I grew up with earthquakes & blizzards (love 'em) and took to thunderstorms right off (love love love!) but tornadoes give me the heebie-jeebies. I once heard a tornado warning on the radio when I was driving through Mississippi and, not knowing what county I was in, had no idea if it applied to my area. This led to three straight hours of me freaking out and watching the horizon, preparing to drive my car to the side of the road and go lie flat in a ditch if I saw anything funnely. Good times.

6. I once cried and nearly hyperventilated between sparring and board breaking during a karate belt test. And passed the test. (Never discount the sympathy vote in martial arts.) TRUE, actually. This one does surprise most people who know me well. I'm not usually much of a crier. To explain, there was a freaking ton of adrenaline in my system and I was trying to calm down after sparring (which always wigs me out, I'll be honest - I'm a grappler or a run-away-er by nature and standing there, waiting for someone to take a swing at me, is so not my thing) and my body decided the handiest outlet for my adrenaline high was great gulping sobs and big fat tears. First and only time it's ever happened. So I'm kneeling on the floor, making this awful heee-heee noise and my sensei tells me I have to break. I get up (still sobbing), position my boards, and break 'em all first try. And the hysterics magically stop. Attacking boards is apparently a hella effective way of relieving an adrenaline overload.

7. I can both lead and follow lindy hop. If you don't know what that means, you are in the majority, and while I refuse to explain, I will tell you that I did it at RT with Jess Granger and it was awesome. (Kinky girl-on-girl lindy... ooooooh.) TRUE. Lindy hop is a swing dance. I love it because it has this fabulous blend of totally-nerdy and bizarrely-cool, which is my favorite ever. Behold the lindy-ness:

Booksignings: The Untold Story

We laugh because it's soooo true.

Liar, Liar

That's right, boys and girls, I've been nominated for Lesa's Bald Faced Liar "Creative Writer" Blogger Award! Mad thanks to Mary Hughes for singling me out as a prevaricator extraordinaire.

How does this work? I've posted seven statements about myself below. At least one is true and at least one is a bald faced lie. All you have to do is figure out which is which.

And because I love to share the wealth, I'm nominating a few liars creative bloggers of my own. Be sure to check out:

• Shelli Stevens - the author your mother warned you about... naughty books for all occasions
• Kinsey Holley - werewolfy goodness of the steamy delicious variety
• Kelly Fitzpatrick - laughter & romance, my favorite combination
• Kate Diamond - founding member of Damned Scribbling Women blog, romance afficianado, and aspiring scribe
• Jess Granger - sci-fi romance to fire the imagination and tug at the heartstrings
• Liz Talley - fabulous new author of comtemporary romance with Superromance
• Sela Carsen - Paranormal. Romantic. Comedy. (the trifecta)

And don't forget to swing back around to check out Mary Hughes - side splitting laughs and spicy hot vamps (and a gift certificate going to one lucky commenter).

And now, to the lies!

1. I have answered the phone to find Tobey Maguire on the other end of the line and worked on a film for which someone other than myself was nominated for an Academy Award, a Golden Globe, & a Screen Actors Guild Award.

2. I rode a camel in Morocco, but I have never been south of the equator - the lack of which eats away at my soul.

3. I was valedictorian of my high school, a National Merit scholar and in Mensa - but I can't tell my left from my right.

4. I once had my head stapled shut after gashing it on the ceiling, didn't get home from the emergency room until two in the morning and went to my 7:30am class the next day. (Did you know there is something called the halo effect where head wounds close to the brain seem to hurt several inches above your actual skull? Soooo weird.)

5. I hate earthquakes, thunderstorms, and blizzards, but love the natural power of tornadoes. I blame The Wizard of Oz. Tornadoes=magic.

6. I once cried and nearly hyperventilated between sparring and board breaking during a karate belt test. And passed the test. (Never discount the sympathy vote in martial arts.)

7. I can both lead and follow lindy hop. If you don't know what that means, you are in the majority, and while I refuse to explain, I will tell you that I did it at RT with Jess Granger and it was awesome. (Kinky girl-on-girl lindy... ooooooh.)

Soooo.... how truthful was I? Can you spot the lie(s)?

Totally Separate Human Beings

Sometimes people tell me how much they love my Granite Lake Wolves books. And I blush and stammer and explain that those books were written by Vivian Arend. I can totally understand the confusion. (Especially when you add Vivi Anna to the mix. I had no idea my name was so popular! I never met another Vivi in school...)

Anyway, because I am a nerd and I think this is amusing, I offer visual proof that Viv Arend and I are not the same person. Look!


Viv Arend:









Vivi Andrews:






See! Totally separate human beings! Are you not amazed?

(But don't worry, you can continue to mix up our books. It keeps life interesting to have a nombre doppleganger out there. And if I'm gonna be mixed up with someone, at least it's someone awesome.)