Friday, March 8, 2013

You're Really a Writer?

I just got back from Kauai (pics coming as soon as I can get blogger to stop being a punk and accept them).  Whenever I travel I meet new people (which is fabulous), but invariably the New People want to know what I do for a living, and as soon as I say I'm an author, I become a zoo exhibit.

Everyone is fascinated by this, and eager to test out their ideas of what a writer is against me.  Sometimes it's kind of fun, but after the third iteration of the exact same conversation while I'm just trying to sip my Mai Tai and relax in the hot tub, it can get a bit tiresome.  So in case we ever meet in person at a poolside bar, let's just get it out of the way now, shall we?  Here it is: The Conversation.

New People: What do you do?
Me: I'm a writer.
NP: Like a reporter?
Me: No, sorry.  I write fiction.  I'm an author.  (For some reason it never occurs to me to start with "author".  I self-identify as a writer, don't ask me why.)
NP: So like, books and short stories?
Me: Yep.
NP: What sort of stuff do you write?
Me: Mostly paranormal romance.
NP: Like 50 Shades of Grey?
Me: Not really.  (Please, please, please let there be another fad book come along and dethrone that one.  Please.)
NP: I bet you're famous!  What's your name?
Me: Vivi, but I'm not famous.
NP: A starving artist, eh?
Me: I do okay.  (There is a middle ground, people.)
NP: So, paranormal romance.  That's like alien sex, right?
Me: Um, I guess that could arguably fall under the heading of paranormal romance, but I've never written about aliens.  (Seriously, people, where does this come from?  I get asked this ALL THE TIME.  Why do people hear paranormal romance and immediately go to alien sex?)
NP: So what's paranormal romance then?
Me: Have you seen the movie Underworld?  With Kate Beckinsale?
NP: What?  What does that have to do with anything?
Me: That's paranormal romance.
NP: No, it isn't.
Me:  (Didn't you just ask me what paranormal romance was???)  Actually, it's pretty textbook paranormal romance.

At this point, the conversation will diverge, but that first part seems to be pretty much locked in.  Lately it's always 50 Shades of You're Famous and Must Write Alien Sex. I guess I just look like that kind of girl.  ;)

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