I miss Sean Connery.
The latest James Bond installment wasn't as bad as I thought it would be (glowing recommendation, eh?), but as studly as the new Bond is - and yes, ladies and gentlemen, that is one studly piece of manflesh - he's no Sean Connery.
Perhaps my memory is playing tricks on me, but my Bond would never lose his calm (or that twinkle in his eye), no matter how wild the speedboat chase. My Bond was always more inclined to smirk than the sneer. He was smug and cocky, arrogant and coolly collected. He used his brain, his brawn, and his undeniable sex appeal for the good of England and mankind. And he did it all while secretly laughing at the lesser mortals.
New Bond Drinking Game: Take a shot every time the name "Vespa" is mentioned or Jamesey-poo cringes in pained memory of her. That bitch haunted this movie and as much as I love ghosts, I wanted to resurrect her just to kill her all over again for making Bond into a weepy, conflicted, real human being.
My Bond is impervious. I didn't want to see the neurosis lurking behind his mask. I want him to be superficial, dammit! My Bond may have deep dark issues that cause him to have the devil-may-care attitude in the face of death and destruction (not to mention a serious vodka fetish), but I don't want to have to watch them. James Bond is not the English Patient. I don't care why he is the way he is. I just want him to be the Bond I know and love.
Ugh. And don't even get me started on what they did to M's character.
Screenwriters: Grow a pair and stop trying to make everything so Chicken Soup for the Frickin Soul. Bond is gratuitous action and adventure. That's what it's supposed to be. Stop trying to make Schindler's List.
Scientists: Please clone Sean Connery. I need my Bond back.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
Thee most debated subject in the world. Who is the best Bond (and you thought it was paper vs plastic)? My husband says Roger Moore, but as usual he is wrong, as I like to remind him often. It is and will always be Sean Connery.
Pierce was okay, but too pretty. I could watch him all day, just not as 007. Clive Owen would have been an excellent Bond, but he's destined for bigger and better things.
Bond does not fall in love (but if he were to fall in love, it would be with a number cruncher, because they are sexy).
I liked Craig in Casino Royale...never thought he was hot till then. Didn't see what he saw in Vesper...didn't she double cross him? It's all a blurr. I think I'll wait for the DVD of Solace.
Kelly
Oooh, Clive Owen would have been good. Craig isn't bad, per say, he just isn't Bond.
Clearly Connery is the best, and the only woman he should ever truly love is Moneypenny.
Post a Comment