It's Not You, It's Me

I've known I wanted to make my living as a writer for about a decade now, so when I graduated from college I intentionally sought out jobs without long-term potential. Jobs that wouldn't threaten my dedication to my chosen career or inhibit my ability to devote time and energy to my writing. I've been a waitress, a meter reader, a production assistant at a film company, and held more temp positions than bear mentioning.

Jobs are pretty similar to relationships. Some jobs are like marriages, long-term, involved, and leaving them can be as emotionally and financially destructive as a messy divorce. But when you go into a job (or relationship) knowing it's going to be short-term with little-to-no commitment, it's easy to leave. It isn't until you've been there for a while that the responsibilities and benefits start weaving their tricky webs around you, making it harder and harder to make a clean break.

A few years ago, while spending a stint in Columbus, I fell into a job as a "professional scorer" of standardized tests. It was pleasant enough work, sometimes amusing, sometimes frustrating, with its pros and cons like any job. But the one thing that made it perfect for me was that it was project based. Scoring projects lasted a few months, twice a year, spring and fall - which left me enormous, gaping holes of time to write in summer and winter. Over the next few years, if I happened to be in Columbus when a project was going on, I worked for the scoring center and when I left the midwest for good, I signed myself up to be considered as an at home, online scorer.

That was several years ago. I hadn't heard a word from them since. Until this year. In November, I got an email asking me to give them my scoring availabilty for the coming season. A deadline was given. Fill out the online survey by November 15th. Now, two or three years ago I would have likely jumped at the opportunity, but my current day job is a sweet deal that pays me half again as much as I could make scoring. There's no benefit in leaving it now and any free time I gave to scoring from home would be cutting into my writing time. So I ignored the automated request, figuring that would be seen as a "Not interested, thanks."

On November 16th, the second email came. It was the same email, verbatim, making no mention of the previous email I had been sent, but with a new deadline. December 1st. On December 3rd, another. Then again on December 16th. Today, I received yet another email, this one calling itself a "reminder" to fill out the survey no later than January 19th. When does it end? I feel like I'm being cyberstalked by my former employer. Do I need to take them aside and calmly explain that I am very happy with my new relationship? I thought we had left things in a good place, but it looks like it's time yet again for the "It's Not You, It's Me" talk.

So the question is: if jobs are like relationships, how do you re-break-up with your ex-job when they can't seem to understand that it's over?