Rita Reads: And One Last Thing...

Lately I've been reading my way through a stack of the Romance Writers of America's RITA Awards nominees. (A pastime I highly recommend.) Many are by authors I already know and love. One, Nothing But Trouble by Rachel Gibson, whom I read a book by a bajillion years ago and had a "meh" reaction to, so knocked my delighted little socks off that I'm now digging heartily into her backlist and kicking myself for not giving her a second read sooner. And then there is the unparalleled joy of finding a New-To-Me Kickass Rockstar Author. Molly Harper.

Ms. Harper's And One Last Thing is nominated in the Contemporary category. It looks distinctly "chick-litty" and from the blurb I don't know that I would have picked it up at a bookstore if not for the RITA recognition. Divorcee, blah blah blah. Personal growth, blah blah blah. Learning to love again, blah-de-freaking-blah. I didn't have any particular desire to read a frothier version of Eat Pray Love. (I know everyone loves that book, but memoire is such a self-indulgent form of writing! It's like the authorial version of performance art. Soooo not my navel-gazing cup o' tea. But that's a rant for another day.) All I can say is: Thank God for RITA nominations. This book is not that book. Not at all! It's utterly fabulous. Bright and so dang funny. Witty and insightful. Grounded in reality but optimistic and empowering. It's a novel about self-discovery that doesn't force-feed you platitudes on every page!

And it got me thinking about the characters I admire in literature and life, versus the ones I feel like I am told I should want to be... if that makes sense. I like strong people - but they aren't always sweetness and light. One theme of the book is the idea of breaking away from being "nice" or always doing the easy thing to avoid causing a fuss. (And then learning how to rein it in so your empowerment doesn't spill out into needlessly hurting others.)

Maybe the reason I loved this is that I don't think of myself as a "nice" person. It's never been high on my list of virtues. And I have a hard time in places/groups/around people who value Nice above Competent or Strong. I would rather been known as sharp than sweet, but I don't feel societal pressure to be clever while I do feel a frequent societal push toward being The Nice Girl. Men compete in their own way, but with women, it's almost like sometimes there is a Niceness Sweepstakes we've all be told it is our feminine duty to win. And lately I've felt like I was losing that Sweepstakes. And for some reason, I cared.

I suppose the crux of it is: I want (pathologically and helplessly) for people to like me, but I don't want to have to compromise my own idea of virtue (i.e. be forced to be nice all the time) in order to do that. So... I'm going to have to accept not everyone is going to like me so that I can continue to like myself. Because I like snarky. I really do. And this whole last week (which sucked) of me feeling guilty for not being the nicest girl on the block and forgetting how it feels to be comfortable in my own skin because it feels like the universe is pushing me toward a kind of virtue that isn't me, let's not have any more of those weeks, okay?

And I'm way off topic. Moral of the story: And One Last Thing rocked. And celebrated finding the best part of yourself, even if it isn't the part that polite society might want to see at their Junior League Luncheons.