Saturday, August 27, 2011

I'm Not Really Listening to You

So, I think this is just a genetic quirk passed on from my father, but it might be a writer thing so I'm gonna blog about it, because it kinda cracks me up... when it isn't slightly screwing up my life.

I ignore people. Not all the time. I've been told I'm an excellent listener and I like to think of myself as being highly aware of undercurrents and whatnot. Except... (there's always a "but" isn't there?) When I'm concentrating (writing, most often, but any kind of pure focus will elicit the same response), I completely ignore whoever is talking to me. This wouldn't be as much of a problem (I always apologize when I come up from the depths of my brain where I've fallen during the concentration period) except for the fact that I talk while I do this. I respond, logically and at times eloquently, to the person asking me questions. And I have no memory of these responses or the conversation at all. I remember that you are physically in the room and there are words happening, but that's it.

My dad is exactly the same way. You don't ask him to make plans with you when he is reading his newspaper. It will just end badly.

The trouble is there's no obvious cue that it's happening. I sound totally normal. It's amazing people don't think I'm a blithering idiot when I make them replay the high points of a conversation I just had.

Luckily my family and friends tend to find this funny and I almost always remember that I've talked to someone later, even if I don't remember what was said (or sometimes even who I was talking to). It's not something I do consciously, so I'm not sure how one would even go about breaking yourself of this habit. I just try to compensate the best I can.

Certainly keeps things interesting.

Anyone else out there in internet land do this?

6 comments:

SusanR said...

I did this all the time when I was a kid and reading. My parents would tell me lots of stuff to do before leaving the house, I would respond, and then when it got quiet (they were gone) I would look up and not know what I was supposed to be doing!! LOL

Glad it's not only me. Though I don't think I speak in sentences, mostly affirmative grunts! :)

Natasha A. said...

ALL THE TIME!
When I'm reading.
I've actually taught my husband that he has to get me to put the book down and LOOK at him in order for me to have a conversation when I am reading! lol

Vivi Andrews said...

Ladies, you have no idea how relieved I am that this is a booklover's epidemic! Ignorers Unite! :D

Unknown said...

I don't always notice someone's talking to me. It usually takes someone saying my name repeatedly to pull me out of it. And IF I notice but don't come out of it, I can't speak coherently...best I can manage is an uh-huh. So on the bright side I don't have any weird moments when people think I should know what they're talking about. They do think I'm deaf and/or hate them though...

Leah Braemel said...

OMG Vivi, I HAVE to show this post to my hubby -- I am constantly doing this to him and, though he's gotten used to it, he can't understand how I can respond but not remember the conversation. The other thing that I often do is he'll ask me a question while I'm writing, then about twenty minutes later I'll answer him. By that time he's moved on to another topic and my answer seems to come totally out of the blue. He often accuses me of having a computer brain that puts him in a queue and that's how long it takes me to process his question, LOL.

*Ha! my word verification is "prove" ...nope, can't prove that unless we meet ;)*

Vivi Andrews said...

Leah - I do the delayed answers too! And I love the computer brain analogy. It's like taking a number at a deli counter, my brain will get to you when it's serviced all the previous demands.

Kali - Saying my name will often get a response from me... but that doesn't mean I heard you. ;)