But Vivian Arend, with her four new releases this month, isn't me. (But can I be her when I grow up? Pretty please?) And now, without further ado, I'll hand things over to Vivian Arend. Welcome, Viv! (Applause!)
A loo with a view
As a woman who’s been dragged to more remote locations than any other person I know in real life, I make the claim that I write from experience. When I share about shooting through rapids, or swooshing down snow-covered mountains, I’ve been there. When I describe the sights during an underwater adventure, the beauty of the undersea world with its strangely haunting, not-very-silent, world…I’m thinking back to somewhere I’ve seen in my travels.
I’ve gotten many responses when I’ve shared about my adventures. Some people have been a little jealous I’ve gotten to travel to remote spots. Some have expressed admiration for my lack of fear (or they’ve quipped about my lack of brains, but we’ll ignore them for the moment.) But the best response so far has been from my friend Valerie. I was describing the breathtaking scenery visible from the Silver Spray cabin—a hop and a skip (and a 6 hour grunt straight-up) from my home. And then I mentioned the lack of indoor plumbing. She said “Breathtaking scenery’ and ‘Outhouses” don’t belong in the same sentence.”
I beg to differ. 
Since I’m going out on a limb and talking about personal hygiene while in the backcountry—and isn’t Vivi glad she asked me to join her now? Especially considering she’s already confessed she loves modern plumbing—I simply must share a few other little known gems with you. Like when you go camping in the winter, the better ranking outhouses will have ‘tooshie cushions’…rounds cut from an old insulite pad that you can lay overtop of the plastic seat so your butt doesn’t freeze while you admire the woodwork. The best cabin I’ve ever visited had a piece of rigid Styrofoam—it was like sitting on the Princess and the Pea’s bed I was so high in the air, but nothing important went numb.
And in the summer? Toilet paper goes into the coffee can, with the lid firmly attached to stop instinct from kicking in and the beasties shredding the TP. If it’s a true wilderness location, add a handful of the leaves from the pile in the bucket. If you’re on the coast, then a scoop of sand (using the helpful handsized shell) does the trick. Door gets shut to deter the critters from…well, I always thought that was kinda mean. Really, what if there’s this very polite bear who’d prefer not to go in the woods?
I hope you’ve enjoyed these tidbits from the great outdoors. If you’d like to read some stories inspired by more of my adventures, while there’s a woeful lack of outhouses mentioned, there are plenty of skis, cabins, underwater amour, and travel to exotic locations. New on the horizon: this August Whirlpool will be out from Samhain—it’s a ménage with scuba diving, shimmering lights and archaeology. Wolf Tracks, book four in my Granite Lake series, will be out in October, where finally TJ will get his turn to be trapped in the bush with his sweetie. And come December with—Falling, Freestyle—I’ll have a non-paranormal ménage taking an excursion to Big White, a resort in British Columbia. This one?—indoor plumbing. It’s all good.
Oh, and that "loo with a view" I was talking about earlier? This is the same picture as I showed you above. Notice the wood on either side this time? Yup—that’s the view from the outhouse at Silver Spray.
And now you know.
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Vivian Arend writes both contemporary and paranormal works at something just under the speed of light. She’s traveled all over the North American continent—mostly by foot—large parts of Europe, and is attempting to work her way through Central America next. You can find her at http://www.vivianarend.com/ when she’s not trapped in the bush without internet service.
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Two treats for you today, booklovers! One, if you drop in at Viv’s place she’s got this ‘perpetual release party’ going with prizes every week. Check it out. The second, add a comment here to win your choice of Viv’s backlist. But not ANY comment will do. Per Viv's request, you have to answer the question…
Have you ever been in an outhouse with a view? :D
13 comments:
I was raised in Alaska so I've definitely had my share of spectacular loos with views. I haven't had the pleasure of an outhouse with a view though. Alaskans are apparently too primitive to build walls. We're expected to know how to squat and aim to miss our shoes. And if we dare to leave toilet paper after using it, it had darn well be buried deep.
Though I must admit, I looooove my bathroom with my view of a pink wall, shower and sink :-)
I have never been in an outhouse even though it would better than having to carry a 5 gallon bucket like I have done before. And there wasn't much of a view other than the trees around you. :)
Heather P.
I've never been in a outhouse with a view but growing up in Kentucky we had plenty of outhouses. I have seen a snake while using a outhouse. When my Mom gets talking about when we were younger one of the stories that she tells is how close I came to being dropped head first down a outhouse by my Sister and Cousin. She gets to laughing when she's talking about it. I think she said that when she got there all she could see was my feet and they were holding me by them.
sstrode@scrtc.com
Kali! OMGoodness, yes!
I forgot to mention that a 'Yukon outhouse' simply has two walls...set up at a 90 degree angle and then the seat goes...well, I guess I can write another post down the road.
Giggle at Sherry. Umm, dropped a radio once. You win. :D
Hey Vivi
Wow you could not pay me enough to stay in some of the places you have been lol. But hey we get to reap in the rewards in your great books yeah!
I don't do camping did when I was little but the thought of going out in the wilderness now gives me the hebegebes.
Yes! We had an outhouse at our lake property with a view of the lake, but I always shut the door and had a view of the door.
I've been relatively lucky. The only outhouse I've ever been in was non functional, part of a tourist attraction. We spent a summer in Wyoming when I was a kid and mom made sure to take me to see the sights.
I have done the squat and hope you miss yourself thing when hubbie and I used to take the kids camping(before the cancer took him-and before the youngest turned so girlie) though and some of the views up at the mountain lake we used to camp at were great.
Nope, never had the pleasure of an outhouse with any kind of view. We camped a lot when I was a kid, but always at resorts that offered toilets and showers (Mom's insistence). Your experiences really add to your stories, Viv, and you take amazing pictures.
I have only stayed in crummy outhouses. Nothing with a view. My Aunt who lives in Oregon has a cabin that does not have indoor plumbing only an outhouse. She says she has the most beautiful view of Mt Hood, turn your head and see Mt St Helens with Mt Rainier in the distance. I love and miss the view of all the mountains in Oregon. Really is breathtaking.
Vivi and Viv I love both of your books.
I can't say that I've actually been in an outhouse, period! I've heard some stories about the outhouses from my mom's youth, and boy am I super-duper thankful for indoor plumbing!!
*waving hi to the two Vivs* :)
I have to say that I feel very lucky that all of the great views I've enjoyed have been outhouse free. I am another fan of modern plumbing and will avoid any kind of 'roughing it' that doesn't include plumbing and electricity. The only outhouses I've ever used are of the plastic kind and only when I was a little kid playing flag football and they were the only kind of toilet available.
My uncle had a farm in Indiana, and there was an outhouse out near the creek. I don't think we actually ever used it, but he used to say if you need it, it's there. It was on a small rise overlooking a field of wildflowers and woods, and I guess it was a nice enough view-but I was like seven or eight the last time I was there, so I was more interested in playing in the creek and riding the pony.
I have never been in an outhouse. I've haven't even seen one in person before. I am very thankful for indoor plumbing.
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